Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A very, very, SOaR-(E) Sherman


Personal Info Blog Entry: ____   Sherman                   2/15/12

-

-                                                                                                                          

-




                Over the past two weeks I’ve been in West Texas.
I’ve gone swimming, backpacking, and have done lots of reading and drawing, and sometimes writing in my journal.

On ex, we sometimes are handed worksheets that are called ‘schoolwork.’ In reality there just print-out copies of a National Parks guest-guide and we’re told to read them and then do a quick-write on them.

Over the time I have spent here I have only gotten sore feet, constant pulsing headaches and sleep-deprivation. While I will digress that the Carlsbad Caverns were stunning and extraordinary to walk through, and the hiking had pleasant views- when I had the chance to look around and not be prodded by field-staff- everything else about Soar is unpleasant, and overly demanding.

Furthermore- I feel disregarded much of the time when I try to voice  my opinion sometimes, while heard other times- I feel that the majority of other times I am not heard.

This troubles me.

I wish to become a performer so I can be aptly recognized for my abilities in writing, and artistic design, as well as the need to self-regulate my daily tasks- NORMAL society tasks- such as clearing my inbox, regularly updating my art and writing pages with my works, informing my family of my current state, checking in with my guidance counselors and therapists, and most importantly of all: relieving my stress through writing. Writing helps me the most, and for the most part, Soar has aggressively denied me this when I require it the most.

I am quite capable of self-managing and advocating for my needs, and I am quite mature for my age. The staff here at this place does not seem to recognize that. I am unable to operate at full functionality do to the troubling fact that they deny me many of the things that help me regulate my stress, and more importantly: My anger, I hate getting angry but that can sometimes not be helped and I am learning to control that said anger.

I have now been allowed to call my therapist once every week on Tuesday, sometimes I can advocate for an emergency session with her when the need arises, but I am hoping that it does not come to that.


No comments:

Post a Comment